The Legendary tale of Me
by Elberess
Summary: This is a very amusing (I hope!) story about ending up in the Forgotten Realms.
1. Falling down the Rabbit Hole!

This is a very amusing (I hope!) story about ending up in the Forgotten Realms.  
  
  
  
"I sat, no, I *perched*. Yes, that sounds much better! I *perched* on the edge of my chair in the crowded... no, I think I'll say cluttered instead. I *perched* on my chair in the *cluttered* English classroom.  
  
Or should I say Language Classroom, what do you think Emma?"  
  
"I think you should stop talking to yourself while you're writing!"  
  
"But this is important, I have to finish this essay."  
  
"And talking to yourself helps because...?"  
  
"Just leave me alone," And with that, Shona began to mumble incoherently again as her pen continued to scritch-scratch across the paper. Cancel that, scritch-scratch almost makes it sound like she was being quiet! She ScRaPe-ScRaPeD across the paper to the tempo which she tapped with the fingers of her left hand on the desk - she managed this at a volume which suggested to the listener that a small militia was marching past the window.  
  
"Sho..." No, there wasn't much point in me asking her to shut up. I sighed gloomily and stared at my own blank A4 sheet. "Summarise Your Entire School Day." was chalked shakily on the blackboard, what an uninteresting piece of writing and how were we supposed to make it sound even remotely captivating?  
  
"Emma?" Mrs Laingk half-shrieked/half-barked at me like a starving dragon which had just spotted a person walking away from it very slowly, "Emma, have you finished?!?"  
  
"No... not quite." I lied, something I don't even notice I'm doing when it comes to teachers, "I still have a little bit to do." and she seemed to lose interest in me as a hopeless victim of "pencil-breaking" approached her.  
  
"How are we supposed to write an essay about our day at 10am, miss?" Someone shouted from the back of the class - but the question fell on deaf ears.  
  
"Ffffffff...." I blew threw my teeth.  
  
KNOCK-KNOCK  
  
The whole class swivelled like mechanical globes in the direction of the door which had been rapped on, you could have heard a particle drop.  
  
"Yes?" My teacher questioned suspiciously.  
  
The door burst open.  
  
Oh my god. It was... no, yes, no, yes, no, YES! It was Anomen? What the...  
  
"Greetings fair lady! Prithee, do you know of a place known as "The English Staff-Room"? In the name of The Order I draw from a pool of holy light and I must cleanse that dungeon of all evils!"  
  
"Second door down the corridor."  
  
"Fare thee well."  
  
I blinked, I shook my head lightly, I attempted to focus my eyes on a sign 500-metres away out of the window.  
  
"Shona?" I stuttered.  
  
"Emma?" Her eyes were opened wide.  
  
"Was that...?"  
  
"I..."  
  
Mrs Laingk strode to the front of the class, "I am," She uttered with a great deal of authority to the class (whose reaction gave the impression that they obviously had never played BGII save for 2 occupants), "I am going to pick two volunteers from the class to find the television. It is required by my next class, you might have to ask around to see which teacher has it." Automatically a forest of hands sprouted from the barren desert of the classroom.  
  
I gulped as my friend and I stretched our hands up at the ceiling, if that TV was in the staff room…  
  
"Emma and Shona, go get the TV." Mrs Laingk shooed us out of the classroom and we levitated out of the room (well I'm not sure if we actually did the "floaty" thing but it certainly felt that way!)  
  
"Better check the…"  
  
"Dungeon first…" I turned to face the door of Anomen's Place. Rat-a-tat- tat. There was no answer, how strange.  
  
"I'll open the door if you do." Shona whispered.  
  
"Okay, I'll grab the side of the door and you, yeah, okay." We scrunched up our faces and pulled the door open. Nothing happened, but it was incredibly dark inside - pitch-black in fact!  
  
"I'll step forward if you do." I murmured.  
  
We put our feet forward, into nothingness.  
  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!  
  
THUD!  
  
"Damn, where are we?"  
  
"I don't know! How am I supposed to know!" Then Shona just stopped talking.  
  
"Shona?" There was no answer, why am I in a cage? I thought to myself.  
  
"Ahh… the prisoner has awoken, time for… more experiments."  
  
"Damn" I tried to think of ice-cream and of cute fluffy bunnies and of Haer'Dalis.  
  
Dismal? Bad? Okay? Good? Amazing? Unrivalled? Just give it a review….  
  
P.S. I'm trying to get an Icewind Dale column for the site because I've written a fic for it,  
  
No luck though! Well, see ya in chapter 2!" 


	2. Pain, pain, pain.

Here's a continuation of my story about Emma falling down the rabbit hole…  
  
I didn't invent or help invent any of the Forgotten Realms or Baldur's Gate II and its characters (mind you, I really wish I had thought of it first!!!) It contains a lot of spoilers too!  
  
The figure approached me menacingly with a strangely emotionless face and an extremely bizarre appearance.  
  
"Oh, no," I clenched my fists, " I know what happens at this part…"  
  
Irenicus began to shape magical energy in the air with as much ease as if he was pulling tufts of cotton candy from a machine.  
  
I sat down and curled up into as minute a ball as I could manage.  
  
The mage showed little concern.  
  
I closed my eyes.  
  
SHOOMPH! He punched the magical energy through the air towards me.  
  
The darkness began to recede again as my hazy vision refocused, but that pain! It was like my head was in a vice but upside down and inside out at the same time! I tried to remember events, no, still nothing… nothing… nothing. The darkness began to come back again.  
  
"Am I awake?" I whispered to myself, "Yes, and now I'm also crazy. I'm talking to myself."  
  
My limbs stretched out in the cramped cage just an inch before they felt the cold, iron bars that prevented my escape.  
  
"Oh…" I rolled into a marginally more comfortable position while attempting to remember the events that had led to my capture. Was there something to do with an English classroom? No, what's an English Classroom? I know… Candlekeep, and my childhood friend Shona! Yes, I was travelling with Minsc… Dyanheir…. Khalid and Jaheira! Feeling firmly pleased with myself at being able to remember my friends, I closed my eyes. But who am I? I suddenly sat upright, who am I? Emma? Yes, I'm Emma. I'm just Emma, the school pupil… school pupil? I'm a… mage, yes that sounds correct. I re- curled and forced my eyes shut.  
  
"Emma!"  
  
"Wha… Shona?"  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"How did we get here?"  
  
"We were travelling, the others are in cages nearby."  
  
"Where's my stuff?"  
  
"Just get up!"  
  
"Okay…"  
  
I stood up and tried to brush the dust from my dark green robes, Shona clutched at her head and murmured something inaudible and far off there was an atmospheric creak. We were in a prison-come-dungeon, not much more to say than that… the sort of place were really dead people and chains hung about.  
  
"Bhaalspawn!" A heavily accented voice only recognisable as Jaheira's reached my ears, "Emma, you must free me from this cage."  
  
Then all I heard was, "Minsc and Boo are crampy, please free us!"  
  
"Oh…" I moaned pitifully and quickly found a Golem that repeated a phrase about not letting prisoners escape and a golden key.  
  
"Have you the key?" The pesky druid began to persist.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Well hurry up then! I hate confinement!"  
  
I wearily approached Jaheira's cell and put the key in the lock, there was a satisfying click as the door swung open.  
  
"Finally! You'd think I would have to rot in there forever before I got help."  
  
"I'm glad you're so concerned about me!" I complained, but Jaheira had sprinted towards Minsc's cage.  
  
"Minsc, can we free you?"  
  
"YES, these bonds cannot hold my wrath!"  
  
Shona sighed, "Apparently they can."  
  
Minsc struggled against the chains that were holding him in place, "Oh NO!! Minsc is forever confined to this tiny container!"  
  
"Maybe for the better." Shona retorted, it was very strange for her to say something like that!  
  
"What?!?"  
  
"Why do you carry about that weasel anyway?"  
  
"Wea…"  
  
"Yeah, a stupid weasel!"  
  
"WEASEL! Boo is not a weasel! Boo is a Miniature Giant Space Hamster!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Crash, Minsc leapt from the scraps of metal he had destroyed and came towards Shona in a rage.  
  
"Uh-oh."  
  
"ARGGGHHHH! Oh! You are a smart one! You said those things just to get Minsc mad, mad enough to break free!"  
  
"Er, yes." The Cavalier had broken into a sweat, "Yes… Minsc."  
  
We marched wearily back towards the room where I had met the Golem and picked up some equipment, then decided to rest before attempting to escape the dungeon. I crouched in a corner and wrapped my cloak about me.  
  
Suddenly Shona spoke, "Where are Khalid and Dyanheir?"  
  
"Dyanheir." Minsc spoke with an uncommon seriousness," That…" He became quiet, "IRENICUS MURDERED MY WITCH! MY DYANHEIR, HOW CAN I EVER RETURN HOME NOW!" Sobs emanated from his rough direction in the darkness.  
  
"It's okay." I whispered, "We will all miss Dyanheir, but none as much as you." Thankfully I stopped him crying (imagining what sort of gargantuan handkerchief he would require if his nose began to run was enough to motivate me)  
  
Jaheira waited for quiet before she began to speak, "K-K-Khalid is gone, hopefully we will find him tomorrow when we try to escape. If… If he has died I will kill him! I mean… Oh…" She trailed off into the darkness as the conversation died and a blast of magical energy could be heard discharging from far away.  
  
Sorry if this was a bit sad compared to my last fic, but I couldn't think of much funny stuff to happen in a dungeon. I promise that the next entry will be hilarious - I might change the story a bit from what happens in the game though. 


	3. Dungeon Trekking

Hello! I hope this is V.V.V. funny, no… HILARIOUS! Yes, and in reply to my stories being too short, there are two answers.  
  
I can't be bothered to write much.  
  
I'm a hobbit and prefer to write nothing taller than myself.  
  
READ ON MAN, THIS FIC IS LIKE TOTALLY GROOVY!  
  
And oh yeah, I'll eat your treasured family pets Karyn if you eat mine!!!  
  
  
  
  
  
* The sun streamed through the elegant trees as cute and furry things nibbled at tufts of juicy emerald grass, the melodic tweeting of colourful, little birds cheerily permeated the air. A strain of crickets "shick-schicked" in a thicket not far away and I breathed in the cool and sweet air, the crickets continuing in the background with a sharp, staccato tempo. But wait, the crickets began to sound different, their song became suddenly loud and spluttered like it was coming through someone's nostrils…*  
  
"MINSC!" I cried grumpily.  
  
"Yes? Is there evil nearby?"  
  
"Just please stop snoring!"  
  
"But Emma, it was not me!"  
  
"Jaheira then?"  
  
"No!" Minsc answered me with great excitement, "Guess again!!!"  
  
"Shona, maybe?"  
  
"Nope!!!"  
  
"WHO?"  
  
"BOO!," He beamed and proudly held the small creature up to my face and I momentarily considered grabbing the brown and white ball of fur and throwing him away to see if hamsters could bounce, "Boo sounds like a swarm of angry hornets when he snores, does he not?"  
  
"Wha..?" Jaheira blinked and slowly sat up, "I cannot imagine angry hornets living in such a horrible place as this."  
  
"No, but a whole colony currently reside in Boo's nose, " I yawned, coughing when the stale, musty air hit my throat, "Or at least if it was Boo who was snoring…"  
  
"Are you attempting to blight this rangers reputation?"  
  
"Of course not, you don't snore do you?"  
  
"NO! Rangers from Rasheman do not snore! Oh, I wish I had a FLAGON of sweet ale!"  
  
"What, dragon? Where? I must kill it!" Shona jumped to her feet from resting and looked about herself, astonished at her surroundings, "Oh yeah, I remember this place now," she slowly lowered herself back to the ground and absent-mindedly began to drum her fingers on a nearby skull.  
  
"I think we should move," I suggested.  
  
"What about breakfast? Boo will be grumpy if he is not fed."  
  
"And Jaheira will be too," The Druid searched around nearby for something to eat, "There are apples on that table over there," She pointed towards a low wooden ledge in the far corner of the dimly lit stone room we were sitting in.  
  
"Boo gets drunk if he eats too much apples."  
  
"He could eat a skeleton." Shona lifted her hand and blew the dust from the tips of her fingers.  
  
"No."  
  
"Apples it is then, "I threw one to each of the disheartened party and beckoned for them to follow me.  
  
The corridors were dark and dusty as we scraped along them slowly, dragging our feet behind us and taking it in turns to attempt to start a conversation in a bored, monotonous voice. Jaheira strode in front like she was the leader and acted like she was as wise as Elminster.  
  
"Who does she think she is, "I thought, "Acting like she's the leader of a druid grove or something…"  
  
"WAHHH! Ah! No, what… ow…" Jaheira had made an amazing fall to the ground and lay in a dusty heap with a chain entangled in her feet.  
  
Laughter squeezed its way out from the sides of my mouth as a concerned Minsc promptly helped her to her feet.  
  
"I do not know what you laugh at, child. I was diving strategically." Her unsure voice quavered.  
  
"Uh-hu."  
  
"Yes, you should learn to hold your mouth."  
  
"Daughter of an ettin, " I whispered.  
  
Soon we came to a junction were the corridor led in two different directions. One path was well lit and silent, the other was filled with eerie cries and shrouds of inky darkness.  
  
"Lets split up?" Shona suggested cheerily.  
  
"NO WAY." I said, "That's what you do if you want to end up dead!"  
  
"What about the darker path?" Jaheira remarked importantly.  
  
"Well, okay!"  
  
"Sort of like my life, really."  
  
"Stop." I held up my hands, "Are we just going to run out of here?"  
  
"Yup."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"But we don't even know who captured us!"  
  
"It was Irenicus, the Witch Slayer!!!" And Boo let out a dreadful squeak as Minsc sniffed.  
  
"Yes, but what did he want with me?"  
  
"We will find out in good time, child." Jaheira added knowingly.  
  
"Don't call me child!"  
  
"But mine is the voice of wisdom, child."  
  
"Just don't call me child, or you'll see how tough Bhaal-Spawn really are!"  
  
"Is that a threat, child?"  
  
"Please don't call me that!"  
  
"As you wish, young one." And she strode off into the dark corridor with everyone else taking off after her.  
  
And so we wandered off into the blackness, it was a typical dungeon- come-secret-lair with dark corners, long corridors and atmospheric creaks and groans everywhere. I hurried to a stride as we passed locked doors and no signs of life, hoping that imps and other spiky minions would not appear. But of course, there would be no such luck. We rounded a large corner and immediately a gang of goblins attacked us.  
  
"Aurghhh!"  
  
Shona grimaced, "They look pretty bad," and the yellow-skinned monsters began to aim blows at my small party with frightening cries, we knocked them back though! In fact, they weren't nearly quarter as bad as Sarevok! Of course, I was slightly injured… but Jaheira cleaned up the wound and we entered a very curious room. It was dull and dark and filled with horrible jars, each containing a disgusting creature.  
  
"WHAT AN AFFRONT TO NATURE!" Jaheira cried, "What are these things?"  
  
"Glass Jars?" Shona questioned with a frightened gaze.  
  
"Bottles?" I shrieked.  
  
And Minsc added somewhat calmly, "Snow Domes."  
  
We moved around the room, disgusted but compelled to explore the lab.  
  
The creatures in the jars simply floated in their liquid and made not a movement or sound and we found nothing else but a few imps to be dispatched and a staff for me to use.  
  
"Where they once people?" One of my friends gasped.  
  
"I do not know," Answered Minsc sombrely," But they were too big to shake and they didn't have any snow in them. Definitely not like the ones in Rasheman."  
  
"They weren't snow domes, Minsc!"  
  
"Then what were they?"  
  
"I don't know…"  
  
"Exactly, they could very well have been snow domes."  
  
Whatever they had been, we continued to wander around until we reached a group of Dryads in a strange area of the dungeon, which was filled with trees.  
  
"Please!"  
  
"Help us."  
  
"We are his servants."  
  
"His concubines."  
  
"Free us!"  
  
Minsc stepped forward, "What is your trouble?"  
  
"Irenicus is keeping us here," The three of them cried.  
  
"And how do we free you?"  
  
"Take our acorns to the fairy queen in the Windspear Hills! Yes, please!"  
  
"Very well."  
  
And, after that brief encounter, we continued on along the corridors…  
  
  
  
This bit is getting boring because the dungeon is so BIG! Do you mind if I switch to after the portal, to the Yoshimo bit?  
  
"Of Course Not Emma." My cat replies.  
  
"Whoaaa! Way too much chocolate now! Slow down. Cats can't read, so how did you know what I'd written?"  
  
"My psychic powers, of course."  
  
"Oh? Well, okay then."  
  
"But not just now."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"You need sleep."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because cats can't speak."  
  
"Oh."  
  
  
  
Next Instalment: Yoshimo and the Irenicus Encounter (Cue scary music!!!) 


	4. Portal of Call

DISCLAIMER: Not mine, not the characters or the game or the plot, but Fudgie is mine…  
  
  
  
"It's not fair." She yeowled.  
  
"I know, but I've calmed down now after the chocolate incident and it's my turn to play the computer. Anyway, I still don't believe you."  
  
"But I didn't write any fics, Elberess."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"I promise." And Fudgie blinked once amiably.  
  
"Mother told me never to trust what cats say."  
  
"But I'm Fudgie, your only pet."  
  
"So? You lied about the scratches on my Cd."  
  
"Err… Meow?"  
  
"Look, you can play the computer when I'm finished writing this."  
  
"Oh! I'll uninstall Throne of Bhaal then!"  
  
"Fine, you can write the intro but that's it!"  
  
"Thanks! You're the best."  
  
"Stop the flattery."  
  
Well, here's the intro. Jaheira, Minsc, Shona and Emma have been battling through Irenicus' terrible dungeon for two days! (Pssst… what is it I am supposed to be writing – oh yeah.) They have released the prisoner Rielev, have recovered Saverok's Sword and have finally managed to find the key to a portal that could take them to the surface. Read on and remember, when the cat revolution fin… "Shut up Fudgie!"  
  
Okay, read on.  
  
I hate travelling through portals, but not nearly as much as I hate being stuck in the dungeons of mad psychopaths. It's the way that they (both) ripple and distort, plus the fact that I have little idea as to how they work.  
  
"Does anyone now how portals… function?"  
  
"Boo tells me that they scramble matter up into tiny pieces and put it back together again at the other end. What Boo? Oh, it's like the tiny apples scrambled up in Boo's stomach! But they never get put back together again…"  
  
"Ew…"  
  
"Are you…" Jaheira drew in a breath and added patronisingly, "Afraid, child – I mean young one."  
  
"N-no, not necessarily. I just hope that Irenicus isn't waiting for us."  
  
Shona, who had been in a rare, silent and contemplative state, slowly spoke, "I will smite him with my righteous fury."  
  
"And Boo will bite him in the…" Minsc let the words trail of satisfyingly.  
  
"Once I have had a chance to smite him." Shona scowled.  
  
"Once you have had a chance to smite him." The ranger reassured.  
  
"I suspect he will be a little harder to beat than that."  
  
"Oh, just hurry up and use the key Emma!"  
  
Shona grabbed the key and turned it, a field of shimmering air fell down and across the portal like a waterfall.  
  
"Ooh! Shiny."  
  
"You first Emma."  
  
"No, you."  
  
Then all three (well, four if you count Boo) pushed me in the back.  
  
"Arghhhhhhhh!" I fell screaming through the portal, it enveloped me like icy-cold water and a second later I felt myself break through and into normal air again. I regained my composure and promptly fell into a heap on the cool flagstones.  
  
"Spectacular Entrance!" A new voice cheered and I pulled myself up just as my guffawing party appeared around me.  
  
"Pushed… you into… it!"  
  
"Hahahahaha!"  
  
"Oh. Be quiet."  
  
"Hello?" The new figure waved, "I am Yoshimo."  
  
There was a tsunami of indifference.  
  
"THE Yoshimo, feared and revered. Come on, you have surely heard tales of my legendary skills?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Nope."  
  
"Even Boo hasn't."  
  
Yoshimo pushed back his tan coloured thief's hood to reveal a similarly coloured rough face that looked like it had more scars than the Gloomfrost*. He pulled out a katana and attempted to strike a pose.  
  
"Well?"  
  
"Sorry. Nothing"  
  
Jaheira smirked, "Don't pout, we are not from around here."  
  
"Where is here anyway?" I added.  
  
"Athkatla, city of coin."  
  
"Oh, I've heard of it."  
  
"I've been once with… Khalid."  
  
"A loved one?"  
  
Jaheira ignored Yoshimo.  
  
"Well anyway, I need to join your party."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because…"  
  
Shona laughed and stated sarcastically," Because Irenicus has put a geas on your heart and you must join with us to lead us into a trap or you will shrivel up into a walnut and die?"  
  
"No…" He muttered something about the Copper Coronet and vanished.  
  
"Thanks, Shona! He might have helped us!"  
  
"Nah, I don't think so."  
  
I sighed and looked for the first time at the room we were standing in, "Typical dungeon décor." I remarked.  
  
"Hmm."  
  
I stooped down and picked a scroll out of a nearby pot, I already had that spell but it could have been useful later.  
  
"Are you coming Emma?"  
  
"Wha…?"  
  
"There's a door."  
  
Someone opened the door and we ended up in a room with four cage-like portals in it and a few bookcases, there was a table at the far end but a cauldron obscured whatever it held.  
  
"Schracht!" A mephit tapped me on the shoulder.  
  
"Crap."  
  
Four mephits flew from the portals and furiously began to attack, "Attack the portals!" Someone cried.  
  
I turned and watched a mephit push some colourful motes from its hands, "Pretty." I whispered as I fell to the floor and into a deep slumber.  
  
"emma." Shona spoke very quietly, "EMMA!"  
  
"What? Are they dead?"  
  
"Yes, Minsc smiled as the sweat trickled down his forehead, "It was fun!"  
  
"Well I guess I missed it then."  
  
"Jaheira?"  
  
I heard a choking cry that was cut off suddenly, "Kha…" The weeping figure bent over the table at the far end of the room, "He's dead."  
  
"Can you not resurrect him?" I ventured.  
  
"Defiled… too late. Silvanus, guide – guide him, the love of my life."  
  
"It's okay."  
  
"NO IT IS NOT!!!! I WILL KILL IRENICUS!" She spun round madly and approached me with her scimitar raised above her head, "But… I cannot blame my companions, " She calmed down, "The sooner we're out of here the better."  
  
And she turned towards another door with a stifled sob.  
  
"That was very brief, "Minsc whispered in my ear.  
  
"Well?" Fudgie jumps onto the keyboard  
  
"Well what?" I question.  
  
"You promised."  
  
"But I let you write the Intro."  
  
"Not that."  
  
"What then Fudgie?"  
  
"You said Next Episode: Yoshimo and the Irenicus Encounter."  
  
"So I did."  
  
"But where's Irenicus?"  
  
"In the Next Episode."  
  
"Oh god…"  
  
*The Gloomfrost: Where, according to barbarian legend, the sun first left Abeir-Toril's Womb - scarring and scorching her. It is a foreboding cavern of shaped and warped ice. 


	5. This disturbance is over!

DISCLAIMER: NOT MINE!!!!!  
  
Jaheira hadn't spoken, she hadn't even sighed, in fact… I was beginning to doubt that she had even breathed since she had seen Khalid lying dead on the table.  
  
"Jaheir…" I ventured.  
  
"Quiet…. Child."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"You do not understand," she whispered and there was silence once more.  
  
Minsc began to whistle tunelessly.  
  
"Please desist, ranger."  
  
He stopped.  
  
We'd been through a lot together, but not anything as bad as this. No siree. I almost expected Jaheira to ask me to stop thinking because it was too loud for her. Even her fighting was different, the elven woman who had been cloned in one room was met with almost "half-hearted" blows when she attacked us; and Jaheira had barely tried when it came to bashing in the vampires and assassins throughout the dungeon.  
  
"I think… we are near the exit." Shona grinned sheepishly, Jaheira remaining unmoved.  
  
"It looks lighter up here."  
  
So we turned a corner and entered a small room that was full of chests and barrels and various chairs. It was insignificant; apart from the fact that one half of it was a glass cell.  
  
"Get me out of this hell-hole." I heard a man's voice, an old man's voice.  
  
"Who are you?" I whispered, "Where are you?"  
  
"I'm in this glass cage!" And we swivelled to look in his direction. He just looked like a regular man, peasant clothes and all.  
  
Shona was wise, "Why are you a prisoner?" she asked and gave him a harsh glare.  
  
"I… I don't know, I think I'm here for experiments." He quavered, it could have been his fear but he seemed unsure.  
  
"I don't think we should help." Jaheira suddenly hissed, "I'm sure he's a…"  
  
"Doppleganger? What's a doppleganger ma'am?" A small boy replaced the man.  
  
Sigh  
  
"But ma'am! I'm not a thingy, honestly… just lemme out of 'ere!"  
  
"Yeah right!"  
  
"But he's only a boy." Minsc pointed out.  
  
"But you're only mad…." I explained.  
  
The ranger stared at his feet.  
  
"…sometimes."  
  
"I demand to be let owt, I am a noble-man of mowst high regahd."  
  
"M-hmm?"  
  
I turned to leave…  
  
"Wait! I'm famous, listen… I'm Drizzt O'Durden! I kill gnolls, look at me!"  
  
His cries followed us down the corridors until we reached some stairs.  
  
"They go up." Jaheira sighed.  
  
"I thought that was a good thing."  
  
We ascended the steep steps until the daylight hit our eyes.  
  
"Wow, it's bright out here and…"  
  
"The prisoners have escaped I see," Irenicus stood in the midst of a scene of destruction, staring at us with cold hate, "How did you? Why am I interrupted at every turn?"  
  
"Because of this!" Shona raised her hands to cast magic missile and the evil mage was barely affected.  
  
"How dare you!" He sounded like a teacher who had just been covered head to toe in purple paint by an unruly pupil, "How dare you?!?"  
  
"Erm…"  
  
We were interrupted by several figures who teleported themselves in, "This is an illegal use of magic, all involved will be held." A grey-cloaked mage fumbled in his pocket and brought out a piece of parchment, "You have the right to remain silent, any spells you do say will…"  
  
"ARGHHH!" Irenicus sent him and his companions flying through the air sending them to land in Neverwinter. Well actually, they landed in Easthaven* and Old Ned has never touched wine again since.  
  
"There are many of us." Another mage appeared, "Even if we fall our numbers are many."  
  
"Fine. But you will take Shona too."  
  
"I didn't do anything!"  
  
"You have been involved in illegal use of magics."  
  
"Noooooooooo!"  
  
"Goodbye!" Minsc waved enthusiastically.  
  
  
  
"That was too short!" Fudgie complained.  
  
"No it wasn't, people will review it and say it's great."  
  
"Not as great as Elfur."  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
"Err… Next Episode: The Circe de Flea"  
  
"Hm…"  
  
*Easthaven: One of the ten towns of Icewind Dale. 


End file.
